We often wonder if our mind has the capacity to erase negative memories from the past with the passage of time. Even in therapy, there is ‘Reminiscence Therapy’, presenting a person with objects and memories from their past for helping them process it. That said, even three years ago, I would have mocked this method if someone had proposed it, even though I was in therapy back then, more related to a quarter-life crisis. I did have an epiphany and also a bit of catharsis during a recent experience, as I walked down the memory lane in my previous neighbourhoood (or city, depending on the point of view).
I became a Francilien (a French word for
someone living in Ile de France (Paris metropolitan region)) in 2019, and I
moved to a suburb that was known neither for its safety, nor for its
cleanliness nor for its beauty but I did not have much of a choice given I had
only 48 hours to search for a place and move from the South of France. It was
the city of Aubervilliers that I moved to, what could be described as the
warehouse of France given the number of businesses having their depots here,
and is also close to Stade de France, which becomes relevant given the Olympics
hosted by Paris in 2024. When I moved, there were still several construction
sites, for the extension of Line 12 of Paris metro till Mairie d’Aubervilliers,
a construction of a swimming pool for the diving events in Saint-Denis and
there were also other projects around Stade de France to facilitate all the
spectators who were to be coming, and not to mention, even some opportunistic
property developers starting projects anticipating the inevitable
gentrification.
I did not hear many encouraging words from my
colleagues or friends either, on my neighbourhood and I lived there for almost
three years before leaving my student apartment, mostly because I felt
disturbed to be still benefitting from a beneficial rent while no longer being
a student; even though I was eligible for it as a ‘young professional’, it was
evident that it was time to move on. I moved to Paris city in 2022, and I told
myself that I would visit Aubervilliers from time to time, just that it took
two and a half years for it to arrive.
So, why did I have to give this context? I
recently visited this suburb, and I liked having been there and thinking of all
the memories I had made there over the years, walking through every single
street that I used to pass by back then, including checking out the shops that
I used to visit. Of course, there were signs of gentrification – for instance,
there was a wasteland near Rue Heurtault when I lived and today, there is a
construction project of apartments mainly targeting well-to-do families. I also
made use of the Line 12 metro station at Mairie d’Aubervilliers, something that
I never had while I was living there, and the nearest metro for me was at least
2.5 km away for me in any direction (either Quatre Chemins for Line 7 or Porte
de Paris Saint-Denis for Line 13). Evidently, I did not have a very easy life,
as every time, to go to Paris, there was a lot of effort involved.
Logistics and infrastructure apart, it was not
even a period where I was experiencing utmost levels of happiness, on the other
hand, I was going through a quarter-life crisis as aforementioned. However, two
and a half years later, I felt happiness raging in me as I was walking by these
streets and it was evident that my mind had chosen to only showcase the good
memories. It was largely a feeling of nostalgia, and I was just thinking of all
the stages that I had gone past while living in this city, the experiences that
I have had here and even elsewhere, as I travelled extensively when I was here
and every time I returned to this neighbourhood from Charles de Gaulle airport,
to the stations of La Plaine Stade de France or La Courneuve Aubervilliers, it
gave me a feeling of being at home.
Among many of these trips that I have made in
this city, there is one particular crossing that I am very familiar with: an
old wooden bridge across the Seine connecting Saint-Denis to Aubervilliers.
While it was useful and sturdy, there is a particular memory from 2021 where I
had told myself, ‘If I were to slip and fall into the river, it would take days
before anyone even notices it’. It certainly was not true, but the moment shows
the internal battles that I was waging back then.
Now, returning to Aubervilliers, I saw a new
bridge parallel to the old wooden bridge, mainly to facilitate access to Stade
de France. While going past this modern structure, the only memories that came
to my mind was the feeling of relief that I had every time while getting on
this bridge; that is was the end of a long day and that I was almost home. It
could be said as a metaphor for the path that I have crossed – not just pas the
familiar streets but also all the experiences and the personal battles.
The neighbourhood has changed (there are still
some streets that look exactly the same), I have changed as well, but by
recalling these memories, I was in a state of happiness as well. Personally, I
have never done reminiscence therapy but after this experience, I could say
that my mind seems to have the capacity to retain only the good memories while
erasing the bad ones and for me, walking down this memory lane helped me a lot;
if I have a need for therapy ever again, I could consider another method,
including this one.
Have a nice
day,
Anirudh
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