Thursday, 17 August 2017

The Enigmatic Friendships

Amidst the numerous social interactions that we, as humans, have in our world, filled with the social media giants which govern our daily lives in ways that aren’t by any stretch of the imagination, infinitesimal, I often end up thinking about the people we term as friends. Due to the distances connected by the social media, people who otherwise wouldn’t have interacted, are now available in the list of friends of a varied demographic. It’s a fun and interesting place to be.

I am not an active participant in social media. I rarely interact with people outside the group which is familiar to me. Being the person that I am, I prefer cultivating friendships that last a lifetime. The fleeting interactions that lead to someone becoming a friend, create acquaintances. A friend to me, holds a much deeper meaning. A friend to me, is a person who makes a person better in all respects. Amongst the few friends that I have, I am certain that all of them know me, my thoughts, my capabilities (or lack thereof), and so on. I know I can go to them with anything I want and not be judged for what I ask or say. These friends, and the friendships they have granted me, would perhaps, last till the times where both parties stop remembering anything.

Friendships are analogous to the life cycle of a tree. Akin to these marvels in nature, friendships have a rugged exterior, malleable interiors and branch out to very finite spaces wherein all the branches are distinct, intriguing in their own accord and is overall, integral to the subsistence of the ecosystem that is a human being. I have observed the parallel tracks a tree takes in its lifetime that that friendships take in theirs.

To elaborate, the various seeds that scatter upon the ground, intentionally or unintentionally, are like the boundless interactions we humans have amongst each other. Not all conversations take root into the tree of friendship. The people indulging in what we tell them, find the right nourishment for their friendship to take roots. The symphony between the waves of thoughts expressed and received becomes apparent, enough to water the tree and beget the once dormant life within. Thereafter, what happens is a natural progression. We converse, exchange thoughts, debate, argue, participate in moments that get etched upon our minds, irreplaceable and irremovable, walk together on the path one wouldn’t otherwise have traveled had it not been for a friend, and other such events, activities and moments that imbibe the tree with vigor and strength it needs to take on the natural forces that oppose its growth.

Like the many friendships a person has in life, many are uprooted; many stand; but the most valuable ones flourish under the most distressful conditions, paying no heed to the forces on the mission to uproot them. Such friendships absorb the best made available to them, filtering out the poisons lurking in the soil, air and water that surround them. Each moment in time that is spent with such friends branches out from the tree, takes its place amongst the many unique branches forming the overall edifice, tall and magnificent. This is the defining stage of any friendship; the stage that determines whether it would inhale the poison and form a contagion, wither away and die, or use the more sentient moments to form branches from branches till such time that it is thick enough to combat and force of nature.

Once the veritable tree has grown to the fullest extent it is permitted to grow, the point comes where the friendships we strived to grow, mature. Thereon, there isn’t a force, available in our everyday lives, which can erode away the friendship. The tree no longer needs water from us as the roots are deep enough to make it self-sufficient. It would have a near unlimited reservoir of nutrients through the endless experiences we have shared.

I am not one to say the tree cannot be shaken or moved. It very well can be. We all can be a handful if we want to be. Others would simply brand us with a term, perhaps derogatory, perhaps uninviting or perhaps distasteful. However, these friends, and their friendships, forged through the trials and tribulations of life, never give up on us. I have known this to be the case with mine. I have stretched them to their limits, infested our conversations with my incessant ranting, fought over trivial matters which would appear highly nonsensical to a witness, and what not. They however, have looked beyond these failings of mine, knowing that that tree that we worked so hard to grow, wouldn’t even budge on such things. These minor incidents have only served to prove that to a true friendship, these incidents would hardly ruffle through the leaves, get resisted by the foliage, and die out as if it never existed. Even if one arose, that could break a branch, a new one would form in its place as the tree is alive and well.

I cherish my friendships and all events and incidents entailed within. These are the people who have made me who I am, shaped a greater part of my life, and nurtured me with humanity. I might have turned out a lesser human than I am now, if not for people such as them. Everyone has friends, who if thought about, would be a parts of your trees, or whole trees themselves. The thought that inspired me to write this was that each person has their own trees, and yet don’t realise that these trees have matured into unshakable friendships. Misunderstandings are easily sorted, however heavy they may seem when they happen.

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